Dear new mother

A tired mother comforting a crying child

Photo via Visualhunt.

Dear new mother:

You are tired. I understand.

I understand it well enough to know that “tired” is an understatement. I understand the sudden rage that bubbles up in you, which you struggle to keep quiet under your plastic smile when someone returns your “How are you?” with, “Tired.” I empathize with your seething thoughts of “You don’t even know what tired is!”

But there is something you need to remember: You are not alone.

All the mothers that have gone before you… yeah, yeah, yeah. I see you tuning me out. But listen up, that’s not what I was going to say. So, pay attention.

When it’s the darkest hour of the night and you have a baby too sleepy to nurse but too awake to sleep, so you can’t sleep either and you’re ready to tear your hair out—

God is with you there.

When your husband moans about wanting just one morning to sleep in past 7 am, even though you’re the one who has to get up multiple times a night every night, and then is woken up for the day at 5 am by the children—

God is with you there.

When your two year old is sobbing about ridiculous injustices after a too short of a nap and the baby is crying from exhaustion but refuses to nap anywhere other than in your arms—

God is with you there.

When you’re at your wits’ end and you simply can’t handle another minute of caregiving, but you have to pinch-hit for your spouse who’s in an even worse state than you are—

God is with you there.

When your child is whack-a-mole-ing out of their bed in the evening, even though you’re exhausted and just want them to Go. To. BED!—

God is with you there.

When no amount of “we don’t scream or hit when we have a problem, we talk about it,” and “even if they’re mean first, we don’t be mean back,” will stop your child from repeatedly turning into a rage monster—

God is with you there.

When your child just won’t DO WHAT THEY’RE TOLD and after the umpteenth time you lose it—

God is with you there.

When the nursing is so painful, or the screaming is endless, or when your eldest’s “helping” really isn’t helping, or you’ve been spat up on and pooped on AGAIN—

God is with you there.

When you find yourself crying and begging, “Please God, please,” but don’t know exactly what you’re asking for—

God is with you there.

When you are done—just done—there, too, God is with you.

“He who planted the ear, does he not hear?
He who formed the eye, does he not see?
If the Lord had not been my help,
my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.
When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’
your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.
When the cares of my heart are many,
your consolations cheer my soul.”

(Psalm 94:9, 17–19; ESV)

So, take comfort. Have hope. Be at peace, sister. I understand.

Better yet, God understands, and he is willing and able to sustain you.


A fellow mother

If you’re a mother, can you relate? What were some of the feelings and situations you struggled with at first? If you’re not a mother, what scripture have you found comforting during hard times?