Pitch me your novel

Illustration of Cinderella running away from the ball

Photo via Visualhunt

I was recently challenged to write a pitch for my current work in progress. At first I was told “only thirty words or fewer.” Yikes! That was hard and took me all day to nail it down. Then I was told to write a hundred-word pitch for the same novel. I thought it’d be easier without such a tight limit, but it was even harder for me. There was enough room to bring in more details, but not all of the details. Deciding which subplot to leave out was more difficult than leaving them all out altogether.

After another day’s work I think I managed to pull it off. It ended up being really helpful in pinning down the heart of my story. All of the hazy parts still mulling around in my head are suddenly starting to take shape. I think I might challenge myself to write these at the beginning of every new story.

Here’s what I ended up with. What do you think? Would you read this novel? After reading the hundred-word pitch, do you think I left something vital out of the thirty-word pitch?

Category

YA fantasy (fairy tale retelling) / romance

Thirty-word pitch

The kingdom is in political gridlock after all the royals are assassinated. Who should inherit? Cinderella escapes abuse and ignites social reform in spite of no prince or magic.

Hundred-word pitch

For fifteen years, the kingdom’s been in political gridlock as nobles squabble over who should inherit the empty throne. The lower class’ needs are forgotten in the fuss, which Estella’s stepfamily uses to their advantage. Estella grows up knowing both privilege and suffering. Determined to improve the lives of those she loves, she acquires a job at the palace where she meets Henry, son of the Royal Steward. With his political reach and her heart for the people, they could change the nation. But if their connection is discovered, it could cost Henry the throne—or worse, Estella her life.

 
I’m passing the challenge on to you! Tell me what you’re working on in a pitch. You can write either the thirty-word or the hundred-word pitch (or both like me!). Your choice. I can’t wait to see what you’ve got!